Friday, December 13, 2002
Well, here we are~~~on a Friday night. All that means is it will be very quiet around the blogger world and I always have this weird feeling I am all alone. But I am not really alone. I have a cat who generally ignores me, but that's OK. I have several movies I can watch tonight. Well, at least one of them anyway. So all in all, I think I can safely say that Life is Good. How about new definitions of some old medications?Medications for Everywoman’s Medicine Cabinet??
~~Damitol: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
~~St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
~~Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
~~Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
~~Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
~~Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
~~Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"
~~Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
~~Extra Strength BuyOneAll: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Martha Stewart.
~~JackAsspirin: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
posted by Lorraine 5:57 PM
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Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Time sure flies~~~when you're having fun. I started a new column of links to my unforgettable blogs several days ago, and it's still sitting there staring at me.........nothing more has been done. This is just plain laziness. Oh well, so what.Until I get motivated again (read:: a day with no commitments to go anywhere or do anything), this is a perfect time to
dumpleave a couple cool thingies for your amusement. Technical Difficulties? Or how about the Village Voice?Christmas shopping all done? Browse this site anyway, we girls all need fur nipple warmers, right? Especially when they're made with brushtail opossum.
posted by Lorraine 5:17 PM
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Sunday, December 08, 2002
A forum friend~~~just posted this cute little thingie. Turn up your speakers. About that email. Thanks, Lee.
posted by Lorraine 12:31 PM
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Blast from the past~~~I know what I was doing the morning of Sunday, December 7, 1941. Oh yes, I was pretty busy. I was "helping" my Mom and Dad clean up the "rec" room, they'd had a party Saturday night.I even remember the smell of stale cigarette butts in the ashtrays, and the sour odor of equally stale beer. Ah, to a 10-(11 in 3 weeks) year old, this was ambrosia. Movie stars smoked like chimneys in the films then, what did we know? Ignorance is bliss.
I wasn't really helping. I was sitting at the bar with a cocktail glass that had a stem and looked groovy, just like in the movies, with "white" soda in it, and a straw as my cigarette. I was a hep-cat, boogying to the beat. (Only in my mind though, my folks had polka music playing on the radio).
I was imagining myself in a sparkly gown with shoulder pads wide as a Packer defensive end, and an impossibly high swoopy hairdo, with the back hair captured in an equally sparkly "snood". I was Hedy Lamarr, Joan Crawford, I was so glamorous, so gorgeous!! I was also in a "nightclub" (whatever that was) and Tommy Dorsey's band was a-bumpin' and a-jivin'.
Looking back, I realize how shaken my parents were with the announcement on the radio by President Roosevelt about the attack, but it didn't mean a heck of a lot to me. Our teacher explained all that stuff to us, but we just blithely tossed it aside and skipped home for lunch. Kids really had it made then, I think. I consider myself a very lucky American to have grown up in those days of innocence and patriotic unity.
posted by Lorraine 8:10 AM
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