Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Whew, I am getting SO lazy~~~you know what they say, "use it or lose it" -- I think they mean if you don't use your mind once in a while you will lose it. Yeah, that sounds about right. So here I am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.....ready for deep philosophical reflections on life and stuff. *Yawn*

I'd rather discuss the biggest news in the country right now. Yeah, it's all over the airways lately. Americans are all a bunch of fat-butts. Droopy drawers. Triple chins. Batwings for underarms. Well, you get the idea, right? So Kraft Foods has announced they are going to take some of the fat out of Oreo cookies and tortilla chips and stuff like that. That should solve the problem, right? What Kraft Foods and other huge food producers are doing is trying to avoid lawsuits from fat people, you didn't think it was compassion for Oreo addicts, didja? Oh Lordy, don't get me started on the chocolate-filled Oreo, I did a whole blog on those little sweeties!!

Suing people who sell you food that makes you fat is the new courtroom high-jinks fad, the tobacco companies have been sucked dry and the opinion-makers are saying it is now the era of fat people who want to wring millions of dollars out of McDonalds for forcing them to consume artery-clogging burgers. This is really scary......these are people who are actually allowed to vote and even drive cars!!!

I haven't been in a McDonalds or a Wendy's for I don't know how many years.......what's my excuse for having a big ass? Ah. I think I know. It's gotta be the greasy fried chicken from my supermarket's deli --- well, there you are, I will aim my double chins at them for making me eat that stuff. Maybe just for good measure I could throw in a complaint their yummy creamy cole slaw and the potato salad they make with a sour cream dressing.

All ritey then, I'm ready. Anybody know a good lawyer?
posted by Lorraine 4:47 PM 
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